Artificial Virginity

artificial hymenThere’s nothing like getting all fired up on what should be a peaceful Sunday morning – but if anything’s gonna do it, its an article on virginity. But this isn’t any virginity…oh no…this is a new and easily distributed way to reclaim your virginity. Virginity in a box – seemingly a well received, miracle “cure” particularly to some parts of the world. Apparently first conceived (sorry, I just had to) in Japan, this little eliminator of any traces of premarital sex (aside from pregnancy and gonorrhea) called an artificial hymen, is basically a small disk that when inserted in just the right place, becomes moist and creates tightness. As a bonus, when it is broken, it excretes a tiny amount of fake blood. WOW! Its a Godsend! (literally) And now (surprise, surprise) the Chinese have been seduced by the technology and are now mass producing it, as only the Chinese can.

All of a sudden the chastity belt and the mentality behind it, is not looking so “old fashioned”. We, globally, have still not shed this idea that sexual behavior is bad. What I can’t understand is why? Well, maybe I do. Its mostly about control – control of women in particular. I mean, according to this archaic line of thinking, and yes I’ll be a little crude, men can go around sticking their you-know-whats in anything that moves, but girls…oh no…they must “save” themselves for these very same guys.

Oh believe me, I understand, fully, that this little “device” will likely save quite a few lives. That’s the irony here. So instead of combating the screwed up moral code that suggests lack of virginity brings about dishonour, women have been driven to find ways to mask any “previous to marriage” sexual activities. God forbid they have any experience to bring to their marital bedchambers to enhance their enjoyment. (oh yes, that’s right it was god who was quoted as forbidding it)

having funI think if we spent a little more time on responsible sexual behavior and reproduction and a little less time on worrying about the so called “virtues” of virginity, we’d start to eliminate a lot of problems – both psychological, and disease related. And as an added bonus there might be more people having fun – that’s right people…FUN… in bed (or wherever). But until we get to that point, I think the Chinese are going to make a fortune!

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54 thoughts on “Artificial Virginity

  1. You have raised very controversial issues here!
    This moral standard that many parents around the world and cultures have when it comes to their sons and their daughters, as well as many brothers regarding their sisters, is so annoying.
    My admiration to someone who had the courage of speaking this out.
    Saludos, Isobel.

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    1. This is my point, Gabriela. Virginity should not even be an issue, and especially not a controversial one. Its a personal choice and no one should be judged by whether or not their hymen is in tact. It’s not only annoying, it’s ridiculous. Thank you so much for your comment! Saludos to you!

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  2. Isobel. You hit very close to home and I mean here the Middle East in particular along with many other places around the world. Frankly, I’m happy with this “invention”. Hypocrites the world over, deserve nothing less.
    It’s my belief that women should take this and other matters in their own hands (or other parts of their anatomy). When the concept of honor is snuggly nested under the belt, not their own but that of “their women” men deserve nothing more than to be cheated out of their illusionary comfort zone.
    I like the Chinese even more now. They first gave us cheap alternatives to expensive products. Now they’re giving us a unique solution to a worthless notion.
    If you don’t mind I’ll be writing about this same topic soon and I will make reference to this excellent article.
    Bravo!

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    1. Thank you, Abufares! I would be thrilled to see your article on this subject I like your take on the matter…it made me smile. A “worthless notion” indeed. And if you reference me, I would honoured, sir! 😀

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    2. I 100% agree with you. The worst part is that in the middle east, If your hymen is not intact when you sleep with your husband,people will think you have lost your virginity before with another man! Some women lose their hymens just by stretching, so what is the point of checking, unless you think your’e daughter is a whore or you don’t trust her.

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  3. Thanks for writing this. I know exactly what you mean by the double standard, unfortunately I know people who apply it. I saw this thing online just the other day, it was a picture of a woman undergoing a hymenoplasty. An operation popularity in the Middle East nowadays.

    I’m really sorry women have to go through so much to satisfy some of these morons.

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    1. It is really a shame, Omar. I can only imagine the stress the women must endure worrying about it not to mention the pain of undergoing surgery in such a sensitive area. Thanks so much for your comment, as always.

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  4. hello everyone! first of all, i want to thank the author of this post! it is nice, interesting and even useful i think. this problem is very wide I think. a lot of ladies should do so in order to avoid many problems. and it is a pity. they do not have a right to choose but! do they have a right to lie??

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    1. Hmmm…lying and living vs telling the truth and dying. (worst case)…I think in this case they have every right to lie. Its a shame that they are driven to any of those alternatives isn’t it? Thanks for your comment and welcome here, Psychologist 1.

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  5. Not sure which society are you addressing, but saying that men stick whatever in anything that moves and girls are saving themselves is a little bit out dated don’t you think ?

    We have girls acting like this more than men now…so equality is there.

    Regarding this new Chinese thing…they took retartedness to a whole new level.

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    1. If equality was there, h3rm1ny3w, why are these little fake hymens required? I wish I could say that was an outdated concept…but apparently the double standard still exists – maybe not in as many places as it was even 20 years ago – but it still exists. Thank you so much for your comment.

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  6. What is it with so many religions’ fetish with female virginity. I mean virgin sacrifices, virgin births, 40 virgins, and on. Even God had to pick a virgin to get busy with so Christ could be pure and free of original sin. Jeez (forgive the pun :-O) Gimme a break!!

    You’ve obviously hit the nail on the head, when you said it’s about control of the women. Essentially, what the are requiring of women is fidelity to someone they’ve not even met yet. Don’t get me wrong, I think fidelity is important. There’s alot of emotion and trust that is part of a relationship (swinger’s notwithstanding 🙂 ). But not to someone you haven’t met yet. That’s just bizarre. The most bizarre, and the saddest is that you are also right when you say this may just save a life or two in many parts of the world.

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    1. I’m sure the fidelity you speak of applies to both men and women – not just the women. I have always wondered why virginity was always considered the responsibility of women…a distrust of men’s ability to control themselves (which of course is equally insulting), a way to control pregnancy before there was birth control, what? I mean, was there any logic behind it? It really is mindblowing that the concept of guarding one’s virginity is still around, though, after thousands of years – especially now that we do have birth control and condoms to prevent the spread of disease.

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      1. oh, ya! of course fidelity applies to both men and women!!

        The rest, Isobel, I can’t answer. I can’t answer it because I don’t understand it.

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  7. Oh please no … tell me this isn’t for real?! I am so disgruntle I could hang someone… anyone with this archaic and utterly medieval perception on the world. I can’t even begin to express my thoughts on this. Is there simply no end to this absurdity?

    I have spent so much time learning to understand my own body, to love it, it’s sensual curves, to ride the waves of pleasure, to be the best lover I can be for the man I love deeply and fully – and yes… practicing on those before him; I can’t imagine not being the well versed lover that I am today.

    I couldn’t give that up. There is a true “sense of self” in knowing one’s own sexual being! Isn’t it really a form of arrested development to expect women to remain “children” by staying virgins?

    This is beyond absurd. Once again you have brought up something that could in fact be argued and debated at great length. Great job, although sad that it is required.

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  8. I ended up talking about this with my “consort” … let’s just say that he echoed my feelings. He did add that, because we do live in this era still … this medieval times … he was glad that woman had, while they wait for the men to allow themselves to be educated and to know better, a chance to survive. In some cases this product could save a woman’s life. As angry as he was that it’s existence was needed – he was glad that, it was there. A catch 22 indeed.

    It boils down to the fragile male ego. In his eyes virginity is the same as the Burka. Woman have to hide, submit and be made to be less than all they can be – because men fear them. Bottom line – according to a tall, strong and powerful man … men know instinctively that women are superior in some ways (men in others the ying and the yang we balance each other) it’s that superiority that threatens them in their delusion of total dominance.

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    1. Your “consort”, Fantasia, sounds like a very thoughtful man. 🙂 I agree fully about some men’s fear of women’s strength. I suppose my question now would be, why do women continue, for the most part, to be subjugated?

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  9. Hi Isobel! I am more for mutual virginity (I know, I know, how can that be in this day and age) especially since I had the joy of ‘breaking in’ my husband on our wedding night. The thrill of mutual discovery is at times downplayed when compared to the benefit of experience. It is fun to be the only one.

    Neither has to be an expert, removing performance fears and it is all such a new huge sensory experience that even ‘mistakes’ are a thrill. The mutual trust and security of commitment removes inhibitions. Knowing your spouse is fully there for you, you are not just a temporary receptacle for his sexual need; until he finds the one he is really wanting to commit to.

    I think one of the main reasons God forbade premarital sex is that our hearts are so intricately connected to our bodies. Very difficult to have sex without a piece of your heart enjoined to your partner. Give enough pieces away, and the one you marry only gets the left-overs, and a place in the hall of former lovers.

    SO, on topic, this virginity device is a sad thing. I’ll be having a guest blogger post about it.

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    1. Kinzi, I’m glad we can agree on the “device”. I read your post quickly this morning and will go back to it again and comment in a little while.

      My issue with the concept of “virginity” is that it used to manipulate people…women in particular…to behave a certain way. That use, as far as I’m concerned, should be eradicated. Really, what I’m advocating is choice. Its nobody’s business when someone chooses to engage in sexual activity. If two people mutually agree to “save” themselves for each other…go for it. I have no objections to that.

      Now as far your comment about “left-overs”. I think many would disagree that to have sex without loving someone is difficult. I do agree that making love to someone who is your heart and soul, is much sweeter BUT I think the important ingredient in that situation is love and not chastity. Sometimes “left-overs” can taste better than the meal for which they were first cooked.

      Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment, as always, Kinzi. I always enjoy a good discussion. 🙂

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  10. I wish I could answer that question Isobel. I don’t know. I do not. But I was not brain washed to believe I am less than the powerful sensual being that I am. I was raised with a volley of powerful woman that shouted “choice” from the top of their beautiful voices and acted not as men to be heard, but as women. With dignity, purpose and power.

    I can’t even stand the expression “loosing” your virginity. Lost? seriously?

    I gave mine to my high school sweetheart. It was, and I am lucky in this, a wonderful and extraordinary moment. He gave me his. So, as Kinzi says – it’s indeed a wonderful experience. Life, however, over the years took us in different directions. I have no regrets – I was 18. I believe that, the reality is, few will remain with the same person their entire existence. Just like few of us will have the same job our entire lives, or the same favourite meal our entire lives. We evolve as people, and thus our likes, dislikes, needs change and evolve with us. Few are lucky enough to find a person that evolves in perfect parallel.

    My love making with my “Consort” (sorry I just like that word!) is now more intense, more mature and far more pleasurable than it ever was with my high school sweetheart. The then (between 18-24) versus the now at my 36 years of age is like night and day. Both sweet, but … you can’t compare. I loved cheese burgers then, now I love a good filet mignon. Both good – both beef … but not the same.

    Because every man is different, and brought a new twist, skill and flavour to the mix what I have now is a culmination. My consort is the same, the sum of all his “travels”. Together, the flavours of the world have become our playground.

    Your sentence: Love and not chastity IS the key ingredient. Your insight is refreshing.

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    1. Oh I love the hamburger vs the filet mignon, Fantasia!! Fantastic insight yourself!!

      I think there’s only one thing that bothers me more than men controlling women and that is other women perpetuating antiquated notions by using them against each other. That really confounds me and I think is a key reason as to why we have only made some advancements in women’s rights and not great strides.

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  11. Me too, Isobel.

    Tomato based left-overs are more delicious. Weak analogy 🙂

    For me, having been raised in a ‘have it whenever with whoever to get what you want’ kind of home, I left too many pieces of myself in too many places that took years to re-cover before I could enjoy being the empowered sensual woman Fantasia describes. That said, the right man (and God’s grace, hope you don’t mind me saying) restored and rejuvenated my soul.

    I wasn’t intending to to perpetrate antiquated notions, but probably don’t even get that I am doing it. Forgive me, and thanks for letting me be a fringe part of the conversation nevertheless.

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    1. Oh Kinzi, in my discussion with Fantasia, I was not at all referring to you. I’m sorry you felt I was. I simply wanted to point out that women are often their own worst enemies. Case in point, when some women in Afghanistan had the courage to protest against the new “rape law” they had stones launched at them…not just by men but other women as well.

      I know that you are a huge proponent in striving for women’s rights and I highly respect your opinions and writing. I don’t always agree with you…usually on the subject of religion…but never think that I would take a swing at you like that. I don’t want you to be on the “fringe” – dive in…diverse opinions are what makes discussion so enjoyable.

      I’m happy for you that you have found such a love and respect in your life. In the end, this is what we are fighting for isn’t it…that all women could have the opportunity to enjoy such a thing if they chose to?

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  12. We agree then.

    Why is it women found the strength to fight to vote, but can’t find the same flame to fight for the right to love and not be …. owned, dictated too and nothing but lemmings jumping off a cliff?

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  13. Amen, sista! It takes women of all stripes to carry the banner. I believe a loved woman is a woman at her best. Men too.

    I didn’t feel that from you, no way, but am very aware that the strength of my opinion can make me less able to see what I could be implying. It is a great reason to stay in the conversation. Blessings on you today!

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    1. Thank you for your comment, Rachid. You raise a good point about how this device may affect the user physically. However, I think questioning on all fronts – morally, psychologically, and physically – are necessary when talking about this device.

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  14. I happened upon this blog while doing research on female anatomy in response to a question I was posed with about tampons & DivaCups and their effect on the hymen. It’s a fascinating discussion, and I am so excited that men and women and people from all beliefs are engaging in this!

    I am truly discusted that this product is necessary. Additionally, it’s ridiculous that we STILL base a woman’s virginity upon the hymen. During sports, tampon use, and as a woman grows, the hymen can stretch. It’s almost impossible for a doctor to really know if someone is a virgin based upon the hymen. In some cases, the hymen is resilient enough that a women can still have substantial tissue there partially occluding the vaginal canal and not be a virgin. It’s positively ridiculous that we are this focused on a tiny bundle of skin.

    Men simply get to skate away from such invasive discussions about their virginity because they have no such body part. In my discussions with people of all opinions, it seems that men are allowed to be the experience ones and are supposed to “show us how it’s done” when we lose our virginity. How about that double standard?

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    1. Thank you, Serena, for your excellent comments. I’m sorry its taken me a while to respond. All of your points I completely agree with. I’ve been thrilled with the response to this article…even though I wish I hadn’t needed to write it in the first place (ie the device didn’t exist). It definitely has been a fascinating discussion and I’m so glad you added to it.

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  15. Nice article! I live in India, where virginity IS a big deal. But I’m a feminist, so I don’t really care!
    Do you know that EVERYONE uses menstrual pads here? There’s a lot of variety in pads but only one measly tampon brand. Because tampons are said to break the hymen. I don’t et what all the fuss is about. But the double standards here depress me! 😦
    I know that if I ever have a boyfriend who asks me whether I am a virgin, I’m gonna dump him.

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    1. Thank you so much for your comment. Like you, I just don’t why people are so focused on women’s virginity. Good for you for standing up against this ridiculous tradition and mind-set. It is truly no one’s business but your own.

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  16. You know it’s actually rather sad that people have to revert to lying to either appease their conscience, or to get back some semblance of something they’ve lost.

    There is supposed to be at least some virtue in keeping yourself for the man that you are going tro be with for the rest of your life! Not to mention faking that you are a virgin raises some question about hygiene.

    If a man thinks the person they’ve had sex with was a virgin, when she was not, and if she was or is his only mate, it may give him some false sense of security if he thinks he’s taken her virginity, but it turns out she’s been with many people, if he were to catch an STD from her…

    The fact is there is something special in being a person’s first, namely a female’s first. There may perhaps be some use of this product by ladies who have suffered at the hand of a careless gynecologist! However, if a woman chooses to lose her virginity carelessly or too quickly, then the onus is on her!

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  17. this is funny as hell! I have to say I am going to buy a bag of these for when I go out to the disco……..a virgin every night….I wonder what would happen if you opened it and mistakenly thought it was a piece of gum………
    What about something like this for us guys, we might want to fool someone

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  18. Hi Isobel.
    I am milad and I live in republic islamin of iran.
    Where hymen is very important.
    So that if girl isn’t it before marriage
    She will alone for ever.and it is good.because one girl don’t make sex before marriage
    I hope you adapt it.
    I and friends don’t make any sex yet.and it one of rule islam.rule:before marriage sex with girl barred.
    I very like contact with you.plz send one email for me.
    Thanks so much,
    Have a nice time.

    Like

    1. Thank you, Milad, for your comment. The problem I have with this situation is that it is a double standard. Why is ok for men to have sex before marriage and not women. It’s ridiculous. I know that it is an ingrained belief in many cultures and widely accepted that women need to be virgins. Even here in North America it still holds appeal. But as I’ve said before, I don’t think a person’s value should be judged solely on what has happened between their legs.

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  19. hi everyone, i agree with you isobel coz i dont know why it is ok for men to have sex before marriage and not for women??
    i’ve had sex before for 4 years with my ex but he didnt put all his thingy inside me (that’s what he used to say) so i really dont know if i’m still a virgin also i didnt bleed.

    but now i’m about to get married and my fiance doesnt dont know this coz he asked me last night about my ex and if we did it but i lied to him coz i’m sure he wont understand plus i think its the best thing to do coz men are dumb anyway and i dont know if im still a virgin.
    help plz
    what do u think i should do? do you think i might be virgin after all?

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  20. hi isoble.
    understand,,,,
    but , are you virgin?
    if you virgin ,thinks you tell is true.
    but if you don’t virgin this thinks(excuse me) is purpors.
    i hope every men and every women virgin before marriage.
    this situation make very good feeling in the sex(after marriage).
    every one and me lover sex,but dont make before marriage.
    this rule of islam(is the best patristic).
    in the end
    2 question
    1: your country?
    2: your situation(work,love,virgin,and etc)
    if you lean.
    excuse me for probably mistake in my word or my grramer.
    plz translate this text with http://www.treanslate.google.com
    [persion to english]
    دوست عزيز من ايزابل جان. من متاسفانه زبان انگليسيم زياد خوب نيست و نتوانستم منظورمو رو آن طور كه بايد بيان كنم.اميدوارم بتوني ترجمه اين متن رو متوجه بشي.
    من در كشورم دانشجو هستم و مهندسي نرم افزار ميخونم.
    اسلام به نظر من دين كاملي است و تمام جوانب زندگي بشر رو پوشش ميده و برخلاف تبليغات سوء اصلا دين محدود كننده اي نيست.
    http://www.tebyan.net
    this site is very gooي.site supported by english language.
    you found in this site every think of my tenet.
    من دوست دارم ارتباط خودم را با شما ادامه دهم.
    be happy and health

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  21. thanks for the advice milad but as i said i really dont know if i’m still virgin and i’m too scared to see a doctor so i’m hoping to be a virgin after all.

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  22. hi foz.
    Who are you?
    reader or writer this blog???
    and your country?
    this very Interesting for me
    i think virginity is very important for our(islamic republic)and for you very simple(havent it)
    and you have sex for many time and with every one and every location
    this think Hollywood Said me

    Like

    1. i’m reader not writer and i dont know why you care about where i’m from because in here we are talking about virginity not countries or religion and i only had sex with one person not with everyone and every location.
      read what i said first then reply to me. ok

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  23. ok.
    im so surry.
    You didn’t tell me your country?
    I don’t understand 2 think
    1)mean of coz
    2)and what my ex?
    Its very important for me. If you living in the west ….. your text have a paradox with your culture(excuse me plz).i don’t understand why virginity Important for you?.you said :I had sex for 4 year then you said : i dont know if im still a virgin.product of complete sex break hymen unless your hymen is flexible or you not seen blood and so on. I am hope… you now a virgin girl and have a best time with your wife.

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  24. this is hilarious ,

    some parts of the world care about virginity , some parts dont . as simple as that , as i can see in this article , isoble and many many people in here doesnt care about it , and considers it as a thing that concerns only the girl her self .

    so , leave the people with their minds and opinions alone ,

    one comment at last :

    in islamic countries its also prohibited for man to have sex before marriage , so speaking about double standards is not true . now why men doesnt have heymn and women do , that question i dont have an answer for you .,

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    1. Being a virgin on one’s wedding night is not ideal at all. In fact it’s an archaic point of view. If one chooses to do that, that is a personal choice but it should neither be expected or enforced by another. Your selling of these devices may save a woman’s life (sadly) but there shouldn’t be a need for them in the first place. And to think this “spices up” one’s marriage life is demented.

      Like

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