You know how you think about wanting something for so long that when you finally get it, initially you’re happy, but then you start to panic because of all the things finally getting it means? Well, that’s where I am right now. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, in my case, the something is a job. Yes, after a concerted effort for the past 4 months, I’ve got myself a full-time, permanent job. I’ll get into the details of the job once I start it in a few weeks but, for now, I’m trying to take my life as I know it now and rearrange it around 8 1/2 hours of being somewhere else.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not complaining. I’m very excited about the job. I just have not worked out of the house full-time since my son was born 12 years ago. As much as I like to get out and do stuff, you get used to a certain way of life and I pretty much had my own schedule for 7 1/2 hours a day. Even when I ran my Daycare I had certain time requirements but I was still at home and there was a lot of flexibility. When your routine suddenly completely changes, no matter how much you want that change, it can take some serious adjustment. Now, I do tend to worry…a lot…about everything. So I may be blowing this WAY out of proportion. I won’t really know how much things will change until I’m actually working.
One thing I’m concerned about are my writing goals. I fully expect to be absolutely exhausted in the evenings during the first few weeks of work. I hope that I can stay up to write but I’m not counting on it. Also, more time in the evening will have to be devoted to preparing meals for the next day since I can’t just come home at 5:30 and whip something up out of nothing. I guess the key will be to keep the goals in my mind and to play everything by ear. At some point it will all click into place. The famous “they” always say that if you really want to do something you’ll make time for it. I suppose “they” are right.
Yes, I know, many people coordinate their lives around a work day every day of their lives and quite successfully. I’m not saying I can’t do it, I’m just saying that my mind is whirring with all the planning and coordination that goes with making a big life change. It will be a good challenge, and I’m certainly up for it. I think, in the end, it will bring with it much satisfaction and gratification. After all, life needs to be about adventure or we get stuck in a rut.
But still…do I have enough dress socks to last me a week? Do I have a lunch bag? I don’t know…I gotta take stock! Lists, lists and more lists. I will be the crazy list lady for the next few weeks! Watch out!
Until next time…go out and grab what you want and enjoy it. “They” say it’s okay. 🙂