Hello to whomever may still drop by here. Sorry I haven’t been around much. It’s been quite a year. I’ve adjusted to having a full-time, out-of-the-home job again and finally learning to balance kid activities with trying to make time for myself, AND getting a good sleep every night (the last two items are reserved for whatever time is left over). Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining. I’m enjoying having a job to go to, contributing financially, being able to afford a few extra accessories for myself or my house, and doing some activities I would have had to pass on in the past due to a lack of funds. However, with the increase in funds comes a lack of energy. By the time the kids are in bed at 9 pm, I think of how i’d love to write but I’m just too damned tired…so I veg in front of the TV instead.
All the characters in my stories are caught in some horrible vortex of frozen action – some were left in very desperate situations for sure. I miss them and wish it was easier to pick up with them again. In a lot of ways blogging is a distraction from the writing I should be doing, but it’s easier and makes me feel like I haven’t completely abandoned the art – not that I’ve been doing much of that either…and yes, the guilt and frustration is getting to me a little. But I’m the only one who can fix that.
As you know, when it comes to creative activities, I have A LOT of them that I enjoy doing. One thing I picked up again recently was sewing. I’m not a great sewer…but I can sew well enough to make things fit and stay together. I decided to make an outfit (in the vein of Outlander) for Robbie Burns day back in January. I spent an hour or two every evening, after the kids were in bed, sewing away while watching one the many series I follow on Netflix (damn Netflix!). It was so relaxing and my outfit turned out much better than expected! I’m even going to wear it to Comiccon…yep…I’m doing it.
My sewing project did show me that if I chill out a little, I can be quite productive. I think I put a lot of pressure on myself to write. I got sucked into the whirlwind of “must write, must edit, must publish, must market” of the writing world – which is pretty easy if you look at writers’ social media, ROW, NANOWRIMO, etc. Writing became a must-do as opposed to a want-to-do and the creative juices just dried up. I’m trying to dump that attitude. I just want to write for the pure joy of writing. I think I’m slowly creeping back there but it may take me a while longer and then I have to build a routine – but even the thought of building a routine gives me some stress. So no…I just have to look forward to a little writing when I’m inspired.
All that, to say…I haven’t totally disappeared. I’m still here and hope to be back more often again…but no pressure. 🙂 The source of creativity comes from a calm mind and a willing heart.